The Sexual Manifesto: Reasons Why You’re Still Single By: Christine Borden
Singledom can be a degenerative disease. Instead of alleviating the pain, let’s attack the source of this problem. You may be (sad and) single if…
1. You use the following fragrances: Tag, Axe, Old Spice (arguable). You use them liberally and as if you were hard of smelling. Not even hipsters are this self-ironic.
2. When you see someone you really, really like in public, you flirt with them by staring. Oh god, they’re looking at you! Avert your eyes! Stare at them again. Quick, what does that ad in Spanish say? It’s so fascinating. Er, fascinante.