W.I.S.S. – Muslim Relationships, Gentlemen of Quality

During this holy month, I’ve been following the daily Huffington Post writings of Imam Khalid Latif. Everyday he posts “Ramadan Reflections” where he discusses topics many Muslims and nonMuslims can relate too. His reflection for Day 16, Muslim Relationships and Day 17, Developing Muslim Gentlemen of Quality seemed to be too perfect to not share with my W.I.S.S. readers. He discusses relationships in Islam and what he deemed to be one of the many problems many Muslim Americans are facing in finding compatible partners.

For Day 16, thought this excerpt from his piece was rather interesting…

Religiously speaking, there isn’t a prescribed method for finding a spouse in our tradition. We find a variety of ways in our tradition that people utilized when getting married as well as different types of couples. Younger men marrying older women, intercultural marriages, arranged marriages and love marriages, marriages in which the woman proposed to the man, and many more. What this shows us is not that these ways are the only ways to do it, but there are many ways and no set, defined way to go about it. Permissibility does not equate to normativity — meaning just because it’s allowed to be done in a certain way, doesn’t mean that’s the only way of doing it. In general, this is something that needs to be understood because too many of us give advice based off of our own subjective experiences and understandings, and don’t really think about the reality that the other person is coming from.

Coming from a bi-cultural background, the method of finding a spouse has always been a topic of conflict. Everyone feels their way is the “halal” or permissible way of finding a suitor. If two meet online, they are judged; when two are arranged, it’s considered backwards; when two date (within Islamic manners if that makes any sense), they are seen as too Americanized. No one is satisfied if it’s not  a method they deem “halal”.

Please read both entries as well as his daily entries and post your thoughts in the comments section below. Would love to hear what you all think!

Ramadan Reflection Day 16,Muslim Relationships
Ramadan Reflection Day 17, Developing Muslim Gentlemen of Quality