In case you missed it, here’s my Snapchat story from last week’s Ladies’ Night at Trader Vics!
In case you didn’t know, every Wednesday night is Ladies’ Night at Trader Vics, Hilton Doha! Unlimited drinks and bites for two hours for 100QR! Even us hijabis and/or non drinkers can join in on the fun!🍹
spinster [spin-ster] Disparaging and Offensive. a woman still unmarried beyond the usual age of marrying. Arabic: عانِس، عوانس
Being a 34 year old lady, I’m again reminded of the word “spinster”. I’m convinced that the word must’ve been phrased by a very bitter person back in medieval times (be it in any language). The fact that the word is almost only applied to ladies makes me hate the word even more. It’s sexist, hurtful, divisive and discriminatory on so many levels.
The first time I heard the word “spinster”, I was 19 years old. It was said to me by an older lady with limited education whom wanted me for her son so he can move to America. I didn’t pay much mind to her at the time. Maybe because I knew what her intentions were. Or because I was too young to understand that word at the time.
That word really didn’t hit me hard until a couple of years later when it was said to me by someone I once liked and respected. From then on, I heard that word more often than necessary. When I decided to go to graduate school, I was told I would never find a husband. When I decided to travel, I was told that I wasn’t making an effort to find a husband. Every time the subject of marriage came up, I was reminded by random people to stop being picky because I was becoming a spinster.
This all happened before I turned 30.
As much as I try not to let it bother me, it bothers me. It’s derogatory and very offensive, more so to those whom actually are looking for someone to share their lives with but haven’t. I’m not alone on this as per my conversations with people between the U.S., Egypt, Qatar and beyond. Whom decided what age a lady (or a man) should be married? Whom decided that if you don’t have children before a certain age, your prime has come to an end? Whom decided that men only want to marry a lady within a specific age group?
I have relatives in Egypt that have passed this unbeknowth marital age for one of many reasons. One cousin has dedicated his life to his work and found it difficult to find someone from the humble country town whom would share and support his passion. Another cousin in the same town and of the same age sided with her demanding parents of unrealistic expectations which has caused a hault in suitors coming through the door.
Even though the culture in Egypt asks that both parties’ families share in the financial costs, there’s this pattern of making it more difficult than necessary to get married. Anything outside of marriage is haram but the halal way has been made to be so difficult, it’s almost near impossible. And those whom wait too long to be able to go about it the halal way? They’re now spinsters.
In Qatar, I’ve met people whom remained single simply for financial reasons while others were divorced but still paying back some hefty marital related loans. Unlike in Egypt, men here are burdened with all the finances to get married and start a family. As the culture here is very tribal, there’s this “keeping up with the Jones” mentality. If one family did something, you had to do the same if not better. Even if you couldn’t afford it, you borrowed for it. I know at least two of my friends whom have been divorced in under 5 years of their marriage just over financial troubles. They got married like the Jones, but they couldn’t LIVE like them. And those that choose to wait, refusing to be a statisic? They’re now spinsters.
In the U.S., it’s a real mixed bag between the cultures but the mindset of spinsterhood is still there. People are in awe when a 40 year old celebrity gets married. Did you see the rukous over George Clooney “finally getting married”?
However, from my personal experiences within the Muslim and Arab community back home, some of this ideology exists. If a man marries a lady beyond the age of 30, it’s as if he performed a charitable act. If a lady marries a man beyond that age, it’s because he’s rich or she couldn’t get someone her age. It can’t ever be because two people loved each other, God forbid.
And let’s back track for a second here, is it just me or do those that barrage us with “get married already” comments the ones whom are completely unhappy in their marriage? Seriously, I have yet to be approached by a happily married person, aside from my mother and aunties, about my marital status. Maybe it’s because those happy in their marriages know what it takes to be in a happy relationship. It doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t just marry the first person that crosses your path.
Maybe it’s because those happy in their marriages are happy because they actually lived their lives, learned to care for themselves before they were ready to share it with someone else. Maybe the happier you are, the happier your relationship. If you happiness depends on someone else, you will in fact be miserable in that relationship. Sometimes, one is not destined to be married with 3 kids living in a house with a white picket fence by the age of 25.
I can’t image being married at 25. Hell, I can’t image being married at 34!
At 25, while many of my friends were ready to join the marriage club, I was taking care of my family while starting graduate school. I was no where near ready to be married let alone even date at the time. People go through different phases in their lives at different ages. There really is no structure or time frame for one of the most important commitments in one’s life.
Let’s be honest, when the time comes, it’ll come. People nagging us into something you aren’t ready for doesn’t help. Using the word “spinster” only makes it worse.
So ladies, when a miserable hater comes at you with, “when are you getting married already?”
Just tell them, “I’d rather be a happy spinster than a miserable wife.”
Every month, bloggers across Qatar come together for what’s called #QatarLinkUp. This is a fantastic way for bloggers to write about a particular theme, read and share each other’s posts on the theme. This month’s theme is, “My Favorite Restaurant in Doha.” My first blog for the link up and I’m already struggling. How can I pick just one? Have you met me? I’m always hungry!
Since I’m an equal opportunity foodie, I decided to go through my Zomato collections and randomly pick a few restaurants to showcase. They are in no particular order other than being under the collection I have them in. Here’s a sampling of what makes Doha the great gastronomic city that it is.
IDAM by Alan Ducasse is literally the most luxurious dining experience you will have in Qatar. On the fifth floor of the Museum of Islamic Art, the architecture, the view, the decor, the service and of course, the fusion of French and Qatari cuisine is an experience to be had at least twice in Doha. And any place that has me craving snails, has done something right!
However, when we aren’t spending up to 1,000QR ($275) on a meal, there are a plenty good casual spots I enjoy going to on a regular basis. For Italian, try Papermoon and go for the truffle ravioli. For Indian, Caravan Bukhara has some delicious curry dishes. For Egyptian, Layali Al Qahira always hits the spot for me.
Just want the basics? Flavorful sandwiches, salads and good coffee can be found at Monte’s or Shades Cafe in West Bay. For the best hazelnut chai latte in all of Qatar, the drive to Coffee Time in Wakrah is totally worth it. On the other side in Al Rayyan? Al Shafi Street has you covered and is accessible despite all the Metro construction happening.
Hungry yet? I promise there’s more! *sips coffee and types faster*
Places like Gokul Gujarati and Thai Corner make you not only appreciate the diversity of cuisines in Doha, but the hidden gems throughout the city.
Seriously, who would’ve thought that a thali of vegetarian dishes can be so drool worthy. Or that delivery/take out from a store front in a plaza parking lot would be delicious and sufficient. Seriously, don’t ever doubt the small guys!
Qatar has an abundance of dessert shops with the perfect recipes for that sweet tooth of yours. From the ones that remind me of visiting family in New York to the innovative Qatari start ups, you really can’t go wrong here. Magnolia Bakery of New York has some great selections of cakes and cupcakes, especially in the fall when pumpkin pie is in season.
For the popcorn lovers, you will get addicted to Let’s Popcorn! My favorite from the shop has to be the Oreos flavored popcorn. Also try the caramel or even the nacho’s if you are keen on the spicy side of things. Again, it’s very addictive, you’ve been warned!
Hungry yet, because I sure am now. Then again, I’m always hungry!
St. Regis Doha – Ramadan Tent Review June 20th, 2015
My friend’s and I tried the St. Regis Doha’s Ramadan Tent for iftar yesterday and it was wonderful!! Here’s my take of the evening:
ST. REGIS DOHA – RAMDAN TENT
The decor in the hall turned tent was a typical “Ramadan in Doha” theme. With makeshift bird huts surrounding the dessert section in the center and lots of lights hanging around the celling. The tables were setup nicely, with space to walk around without bumping into anyone. All in all, I thought it was a beautiful setup.
Service was great! We didn’t know if we had someone specific for our area but anyone we asked to help us did so with a smile. They were all dressed in matching, beautiful cultural outfits, befitting of the theme. There is a prayer area just outside the hall, not far from the well maintained restrooms.
Of course, I’m always pleased with free valet parking which was made available at the lower entrance of the main hotel building. Please, don’t forget to tip the lovely guys taking care of your ride out in the heat!
The setup was in six sections, five starters and entrees around one end of the tent and the sixth being the massive dessert section in the center. You had multiple offerings such as sushi, salads, Indian dishes, pastas, Mediterranean dishes and a butcher section. I tried my best to have a little bit of everything!
I started with a small bit of salad and some of the Indian offerings. I loved the wheat aloo pratha, the “chips” (I have no idea what they are called but they were addictive!) with all the side dips including the mango yogurt. I even tried what looked like a potato samosa but it was spinach and I really hate spinach.
The pasta options were few but you were given the option to take from either the ready made pasta dishes or request one done right there at the station. I did not try the pasta but I watched as one of the station chef was making one for a guest, looked and smelled amazing! We took a walk across the main wall where the Mediterranean dishes were set. On either side you had the leg of lamb over rice then varying rices, potatoes, stews, chicken, kofta and fish dishes. I tried the saffron chicken, the fish with brown rice and what looked like baked potato wedges, which were pretty good.
Craving red meat, I bee lined to the butcher section to come across cheese sliders, beef cuts with bell peppers, lamb shanks, a carving board with what I presume to be a beef roast, lamb bites in pastry and Yorkshire pudding or what I famously called “cheesy bread” to my British friends!
The cheese slider was a bit pink for me and the yellow chedder cheese was not melted but flavourful. I didn’t finish my beef cuts because it was too rare for me. The lamb bites were good and of course the Yorkshire pudding was amazing!
I wanted to go back for more but we decided to head to dessert since it was already 7:30pm. Dessert selections were a variety between Arabic and western. One side of the circle had a long ice cream que which I refused to stand in when there were so many other options. The opposite side of the circle had your Arab sweets with someone helping man the kunafeh table which also had a long que, however I couldn’t blame them as those were straight from Al Aker!
And on either sides of those long ques, were two chocolate fountains, one milk chocolate, the other dark chocolate with a selection of cakes and fruits to dip in. Alongside those fountains were varies mini cakes, parfaits, pastries, whips and mousses.
I tried the mango tiramisu, coffee panna cotta, puff pastry, ghurayeba (sugar cookies) with pistashio, dipped chocolate cake in milk chocolate and some fruit. Everything was good but my favorite was the chocolate cake, absolutely good. My friends dipped their fruit cake in milk chocolate and ran for second helpings before the buffet was closed.
Aside from minor details, I wish there was more live cooking stations especially for the Mediterranean section. I also wish that iftar lasted a little bit longer than an hour and a half. Yes the tent is open at 6pm but iftar doesn’t start until Maghrib time which is at 6:30pm, with many of us needing to pray either right before Isha which is at 8:20pm or as soon as we break our fast.
All in all, we really enjoyed ourselves last night! I highly recommend giving St. Regis a try sometime during Ramadan where both iftar and suhour are served. Iftar is at 230QR a person, which is well worth it for the variety of food and unlimited drinks. There are also vouchers available if you have the Entertainer App.
Living the Confused Expatriate Life The Art of Being Humble By: Ms. Hala
It wasn’t a difficult decision to present my resignation as I had accepted an offer I simply couldn’t refuse. It was nonetheless, bittersweet. The automotive industry is a very tough and challenging industry in all of the Middle East. I faced some of the toughest challenges in my entire career and take great pride in what I was able to accomplish during this time. However, I was truly blessed to have worked in this company. Not for the money, the status que or even the perks that come with working in this industry. I was truly blessed because I worked with some genuinely good people, people whom expected nothing in return from you no matter what it may be. I consider many of the people here friends, if not family.
Just this past weekend, I had an appointment to get my car serviced. The perk of being in the automotive industry is the support you get throughout the process. However, it’s always way more than I expect when it comes to my fellow colleagues! Our main workshop, like many others in Qatar, is located in the Industrial Area, a good drive from Doha. After taking my car in, my colleague picked me up from the workshop and dropped me off at the office as I had to get some work done. Afterwards, one of our fellow drivers at the office dropped me off to where I needed to be. Another driver from the office went to the Industrial Area and picked up my car so that I didn’t have to make that trip via taxi. My colleagues at the workshop, after calling to explain everything to me, emailed me the invoice so that I can make my payment conveniently at my office the next day.
None of them had to do this for me, especially our drivers whom have a packed schedule on our busiest day of the week. Yet none of the drivers would take a single riyal from me as a “thank you”. What can I possibly do to show my appreciation?
Everyone at the office knows I love the American classic, Dunkin Donuts. Having a branch located so close to the office (and all over Doha) has not been so great for my hips but it hasn’t hurt my wallet to say the least. However, the same doesn’t apply to our fellow drivers. It isn’t the best paid job here and something as simple as Dunkin coffee and donuts is a far fetched luxury. Knowing this, from time to time, whenever we’ve had a rough or good month, I’ll walk in with something for the team. Dunkin is their favorite.
Earlier this morning, and why I’m writing this rant, I was reminded of the blessing I had of working with such selfless people. It literally takes a minute for someone to just educate you on an art form many in this day and age of accepted selfishness and narcissism have forgotten.
“Madam, thank you so much! You bring us cakes and sweets, so good!” One of the two driver’s exclaimed to me this morning.
A bit surprised, I said, “For what my friend? THANK YOU! You helped me out big time yesterday, this is the least I can do.”
“No, no. Thank you!” and he walked away giving me the biggest smile.
We take a lot of things for granted in life and sometimes forget to be humble about it. If I was taught anything by my fellow colleagues I am bidding farewell this month, it was how to be humble, be grateful for the small things and listen empathetically for in more ways than one I am truly blessed. For that, my fellow colleagues at DOMASCO, I thank you.
The event took place at the Four Season’s Il Teatro, currently run by Chef Marco Arlotti. Since this was my first experience at Four Seasons all together, I was extremely excited! For only 150QR, we indulged in a 5 course meal, a chance to interact with amazing food bloggers and left with a goodie bag worth over 200QR! Kudos Doaa for a fabulous and well organized event. With her blessings, here is my take on the evening.
FOOD BLOGGERS QATAR MEETUP
The idea to hold the first Food Bloggers Meetup at a location as grand as the Four Seasons, right off of Diplomatic Road in Doha, was very smart. Free valet parking, helpful, smiling staff and a calm atmosphere on a Saturday evening was a great way to get you in the mood to mingle and eat!
We had a lovely indoor, quite intimate, set up arranged just for our large group. Our hostess encouraged us to change seats and interact with one another. Throughout the evening, individuals introduced themselves, their work and why they do what they do. Amongst us were chefs, bakers and simple food lovers like myself. Despite the love of food that brought us together that evening, everyone was unique and different in their approach and expression of this love.
And if you were a fan of one’s work, it was wonderful to put a face to the name. The highlight of my evening was not only meeting those I was already a fan of, but discovering those I should be a fan of!
For example, I meet for the first time Zomato‘s Country Manager, Haytham Bennani whom encouraged our work in support of bringing forth the best eateries to the spot light. We had a very interesting conversation about the our individual work and he gave me a few tips to continue ranting away on my love for food. I am now a fan!
Of course, when food is good, it’s always a delight to meet the chef! Chef Arlotti spoke to us about his work in Italy before moving to Doha just a few months prior. Despite his young age, the man has year, I mean years of experience and ideas galore to present to the table. I look forward to tasting more of what he has to offer.
Overall, the event was a huge success! We were a full house of happily stuffed people already discussing when the next meetup would take place. Doaa has her plates set! Additionally, I’d like to thank Four Seasons for adding to our goodie bag the beautiful journal. I’ve decided to use it to outline my “I’m Always Hungry” rants!
“How have I not come here before?” was the question that swam through my head from the moment I walked in to the moment I walked out of Il Teatro.
The décor was elegant yet simple, the staff were welcoming, the lighting was deem, creating a calm atmosphere. Even though the lighting may not necessarily have been great for photography (which should explain the photo quality of some images here), maybe that was the catch. More focus on the experience rather than the need to Instagram your meal?
The set menu provided to us made it seem that we’d be treated to a 4 course meal and because the words “lasagna” and “spring chicken” made my eyes sparkle, I assumed, small portions to taste everything. I was wrong, oh so wrong!
We were surprised by a soft crab amuse bouche of sorts as a treat. If you know me, you know I don’t do crab, I just don’t. When it comes to shell fish, I prefer lobster and shrimp.
However, since it was a first time for everything, I thought to myself, “after oh so many years of not touching crab, tonight was the night.” This crab was not only indeed softer than I’d expect but very flavorful, cooked to perfection, decadent to be exact. I couldn’t believe I finished that plate.
Then the originally set menu began with seared scallops garnished with caviar. The presentation was mixed. My plate came as if it had almost fallen from the poor waiter’s hands while others plates looked exceptionally beautiful. Of course the photo on my Instagram was not of my plate but it was too pretty to not steal a snapshot of.
The caviar complementing the scallops made my messy plate worth while. I highly recommend this appetizer.
Yes, entrees with an “s”, plural because we were given two dishes not two options as I had originally thought. Can you imagine my excitement? We were served lasagna with parmesan sauce and spring chicken breast, roasted with light gravy and asparagus.
The lasagna was an average sized circular cut portion that needed a bit of salt and pepper. However, it was absolutely delicious. So delicious, for a moment all you heard across the room were the forks against the plates as it picked up pieces of this deliciousness into the silent salivating mouths. It’s that type of silence that let’s you know something is oh so good!
So good, when the chicken arrived, everyone looked around wondering, “is it wrong to be full already?” Of course, my hungry self had to go for it and it was simply divine. The chicken was tender, the gravy was just right for the portion that was just as large as the lasagna. I tried my best, trust me, to finish the tender chicken. I took a bite, had a sip of my specially made pineapple free mocktail, waited, talked, waited, laughed then repeated the steps. I’ve never been so upset for food being taken away from in front of me like I was with this chicken.
How something as simple as lasagna and chicken can take over one’s senses is simply beyond me. Hat’s off to Chef Marco!
Tiramisu. I’ve had such bad experiences with this complex dessert. Some are too bitter. Some are too sweet for my sweet tooth. Some simply don’t deserve the name all together!
Il Teatro, by far, served the best tiramisu I’ve ever had in Doha… in Qatar… in this part of the world! It seriously tops my list of the best tiramisus I’ve ever had! I couldn’t stop ranting all night at how great this tiramisu is. If we made comments here and there about anything that was served to us that night, we all unanimously agreed the tiramisu was a hit!
Plated in a large martini glass, topped with an eatable salute to Food Bloggers Qatar & the Four Seasons, this tiramisu was extremely light, fluffy and I’m assuming had a lovely hint of nutmeg.
If you have anything at Il Teatro, anything at all, have the tiramisu! This glass of goodness can seriously turn any long day into the best day ever.
Food Bloggers Qatar Meetup = Fantastic, well organized and just plain fun!
Four Seasons Hotel = Wonderful, just wonderful!
Il Teatro = Delicious! It’s seriously very rare in Doha do you come across a restaurant in a 5 star hotel that actually doesn’t let you leave hungry! Hopefully that wasn’t just for the event but I’ll have to find that out for myself on my next visit… coming soon! 😉
Living the Confused Expatriate Life Part 7 of a Few… Expat Expectations By: Ms. Hala
Now halfway through my third year of living in Qatar, I’m asked over and over (and over and over), “When do you plan on going home?” “How much longer do you think you can stay here?” “Why are you still here?”
What if I don’t have a set time planned? What if I don’t know how much longer I’m meant to be here? What if it’s because I want to be here? What if… why? Why should I even be answering these questions?
Originally, I had planned what was expected, to work in Qatar for one year and go home. From my discussions with fellow expats, that’s the expectation for most people that take a job aboard for the first time; one year of work to make the dollars then take a nonstop one-way flight home. Yet I don’t recall reading that in the invisible book, “Expat Expectations”.
I’m a firm believer of, “you want and I want but God (swt) does what He wants.”
I moved with that “Expat Expectations” plan in mind. There was this management position that provided an awesome apartment with a view, a top of the line car and an unbelievable salary package waiting for me like it’s nobody’s business!
Let me tell you, I ended up in the tiniest studio apartment with no windows, rented an ugly orange Kia Rio (it still hurts to think about that one) and was practically living out of my own pocket my first 6 months. I take a look back now and realize that my original plans and expectations were not realistic nor the right plans for me. God’s plans for me couldn’t have been better timed and executed.
I’ve come to fall in love with this country – the region really – and after the first 6 months of testing the waters, I signed a long term contract with my current employer. No regrets. I’m weighing my options for my next move but the fact that I don’t know what that move may be yet, is all part of the excitement, the living spontaneously, the adventure I came seeking in the first place.
I’m not saying don’t be prepared for the worst or spend haphazardly or even to not have goal as an expat. Far from it! I’m saying one doesn’t need to abide by anyone’s own set of “expat expectations”. Live the moment on your own terms, period. I mean, if being an expat isn’t part of living on the ever expanding global horizon, what’s the point of being an expat?
Am I still a confused expat? TOTALLY! Would I have it any other way? Nope.